Fear
by Elena Amare
Summary: My heart beat furiously, mind throbbing in pain. I don't want to die. I can't die. One-shot of what a young demigod is feeling right before the war against the Titans. Lily Jackson, whose brain is dominated by one thing alone. Fear.


**It's a little one-shot of what a young demigod might feel at the prospect of death in the war. I then made her Percy's sister, as an experiment. It also made more sense for the brotherly/sisterly conversation between them, so she became Lily Jackson instead of just Lily. I wondered what it would be like if Percy had a proper, full blood-related sister who was also a demigod, as well as Tyson. But don't get me wrong, I love Tyson too! I just experimented a little, hope you like it!**

My chest tightens with trepidation. I'm surprised no one can see my body trembling, head to toe. But they are all fixated on him. My throat closes up and I find myself breathing heavier in a desperate attempt to stay vigilant and alive, my brain screaming, as if I was slowly dying. _Death_. '_Oh no, no no no, don't think of it, no Lily Jackson don't you dare.'_ I furiously think, trying to stop thinking about it before they come. It's too late. My mind starts pounding as images of all those I loved come flashing, their deaths, mingled with gruesome shots of what I imagine to be my own. Screams, blood splattering everywhere. Shattered glass penetrating bruised skin, a lost limb, a lost eye. Flashes of knives, guns and every other weapon I've ever seen, Celestial Bronze and normal steel. And I see my brother, my dear brother who would give up his life so I could live, being thrashed, slashed at repeatedly until he is nothing more than a bleeding stump of flesh, whimpering words that can't be heard by anyone but me. I want to just crumple up, it feels so real. The nightmare is real, and I can't stop it, even though I know all of those people are standing around me and my brother is fine. I don't want to die, _I don't want to die_. I can hear my heart thumping wildly; it's threatening to burst out of my body. The other demigods are standing proud, and strong, ready to go down fighting. But suddenly, this idea of actually dying is causing me to hyperventilate. I don't know why, my whole life has been shadowed by the prospect of death. I never feared it, but now it's coming back to haunt me. And it's terrifying.

He stands above us, dazzling in the sunlight. Wind-swept raven-black hair and sea green eyes. Our leader, Percy Jackson, who has proven to be braver than the gods themselves. The Son of Poseidon, destined to change the world. We all hear of his quests, his unwavering loyalty, bravery that is unmatched. Despite the risks, the predictions of his fate, he is boldly standing against the Titan Lord in person. His former friend, Luke Castellan. And here I am, petrified at the chance I may die in battle. Fighting alongside my family. When he has lain down his life countless times for his friends and fellow demigods. My head hangs in shame. I am as bad as the monsters.

Percy sees my fear, my face filled with fright. His gaze is directed at me, and only me. And I see it soften, after all I am his little sister. The demigod crowd thins, the cabins are taking battle stations. I stand there while the others take the positions Percy orders them to. Then finally I am alone.

He steps down, and walks over. I can't look at him, not with the selfishness that is in my mind. How do I face someone so selfless, when my thoughts are full of my safety alone? Percy gently cups his hand under my chin and forces me to meet his eyes. I can feel the tears starting and inwardly curse myself for being so weak. He smiles knowingly, and I feel he knows what I am thinking about. "Scared of death?" He asks and I nod helplessly, finally admitting my selfish nature. "I just feel so ashamed that I'm scared to die when you've risked your life for others alone. I'm so selfish that I'm only worried about myself." I whisper and he chuckles. "Don't you think that. You're human Lil, and that's normal thinking. I feel that all the time! Don't you think I'm terrified of dying when confronted by a monster? We all, every one of us, are scared of death."

"But you're all so ready to go down fighting and stand so strong. How do you do it?"

"It's just a brave front. Inwardly we're cowering at the thought, you just aren't covering it up. You're _not _selfish in thinking about your life Lily, and don't you dare think of it otherwise. And considering what you've been through, it's the thing I would expect, if you weren't scared, I'd be worried." Percy says firmly. He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear and smiles again. "Besides, you don't have to worry. Any monster who tries to harm you won't get in spear range of you before its dead. I'm not ever going to let you die, you're my sister. And I love you." I smile and hug him, snuggling in his arms. "I love you too, Perce." I murmur, now comforted by his words.

I am ready to go into battle.


End file.
